The Musings of an Emerging Christian: A Memoir

I would like to tell a story; my story.  The story I have engaged over the last few months.  I don’t know exactly when it started, though I am starting with my first day of exploration in Seattle.  I breathed fear mixed with adventure and an overwhelming hint of wonder as I made my way to Olympic Sculpture Park.   I heard it was a unique park filled with interesting sculptured art pieces that would make one go hmmmm.   I was filled with anticipation as I made my way up the hill, already drawn to a few pieces that I made out in the distance.  At the top of the hill, I turned the corner and was in awe.  Before me I saw a transparent multi-colored wall overlooking the city.  Translucent reds and blues cast an intriguing glow over the Seattle skyline.  It wasn’t merely the colors of this wall that made me go hmmmm however; it was the holes that were drilled into the wall.  “Little eye holes,” I thought, “eye holes looking out at the city, the world.”  This was the first time I remember not merely understanding postmodern thought, but feeling sympathetic towards it.  I had been in Seattle for a couple of days at this point, and already my eyes and mind were beginning to widen through conversations I was having with people at Vineyard Community Church.   I was beginning to understand how all of us, individually, view life through our own preconceived ideas.  This wall standing before me helped put the previous day’s conversations into a tangible illustration.  Eyes looking at the world through their own biases and limited lenses, no one getting the larger picture of what life is truly is.

  [1]   [2]  [3]

Before I go further, I should spend some time defining such terms as postmodern and emerging church.  However, before I go too far with definitions I wish to share a quote from Heath White in his book Post-Modernism 101.  “A warning: this [paper] is short, and it deals with ideas too complex to put on the back of a postcard.  I have to paint with a broad brush, sometimes a very broad brush.”[4]  I too have taken the liberty to paint with broad strokes.  Please forgive my mistakes, though I hope they are few.  What I want to discuss in this paper is not a precise understanding of the emerging church, but my understanding.  What I mean by that is that I have a personal investment in the emerging church.  My primary purpose in visiting the Seattle area and Vineyard Community Church (VCC) was to visit Mars Hill Graduate School MHGS).  I have been looking at various graduate schools over the last few years and MHGS is one that has stood out to me for various reasons.  My purpose this past summer was to visit the city of Seattle and specifically MHGS to gain a better understanding of what the school had to offer.  For the month of July, I was offered the hospitality of the wonderful people of VCC, people that were students, as well as graduates of MHGS.  It is from these experiences that I realized I was teetering on the emerging church, something that I was partially familiar with, but still very cautious and curious of.  While I will lean heavily on my experiences in Seattle, I hope to do so both in an academic and practical way.  Academic, due not only to the assignment at hand, but also because I am dealing with issues that I feel are of extreme importance to not only the current state of the church, but also my own future as one who is going into full time ministry; practical, because I strongly feel that knowledge without application is near worthless.

While any definition is lacking, knowing what we are talking about is a necessity for mutual understanding as well as going forward in conversation.  This is none the more evident than in Brian McLaren’s comments in Andy Crouch’s chapter in The Church in Emerging Culture.  McLaren’s frustration was over conflicting definitions of postmodernism.[5]  To avoid defining terms in a way that would hinder my full understanding of a movement that I am prayerfully considering involving myself in, I am borrowing Scot McKnight’s method in which he says, “…to define a movement we must, as a courtesy, let it say what it is or describe it until the other side says ‘Yes, now you’ve got it.’”[6]  It is this second option I wish to employ, both because I have yet to find a simple, concrete definition of either postmodernism or emerging church (something I found to be quite alarming as well as frustrating), and because I want to understand these terms as they are being used by such groups and people as MHGS and Brian McLaren (a one time adjunct professor for MHGS) instead of merely repeating their definitions. 

Scot McKnight also stated, “To define a movement, we must let the movement have the first word.”[7]  It was this that I tried to do while I was in Seattle.  I spent the majority of my time walking around, taking in the city, “reading” the city as I liked to call it.  I visited coffee shops, book stores, record stores, art galleries, even a couple of yard sales, the whole while never hesitating to start up conversation and get to know the people of Seattle.  During these excursions I felt like I was interacting with a foreign culture.  There was something literally in the air that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  I greatly identified with these words from Dan Kimball, “Whether or not we want to call this change postmodernism, something is happening that can be felt, heard, and observed in art, music, fashion trends, and in the lives of people in emerging generations.”[8]  So, I was on a mission, not merely to see if this city was a place I would want to live, but also to understand postmodernism, which I was beginning to see was THE culture of Seattle.

 So, how do we define or understand this change that is happening around us?  Dan Kimball has a number of charts designed to help us understand this move from modernism to postmodernism.  I want to highlight one in particular from The Emerging Church, in which he defines modernism as,

“A worldview and culture emphasizing science, technology, the belief that all knowledge is good and certain, a single moral standard truth as absolute, the value of individualism, and that thinking, learning, and beliefs should be determined systematically and logically.”[9] 

Postmodernism on the other hand he describes as,

“An emerging and developing worldview and culture pursuing what is beyond modernity.  It holds there is no single universal worldview.  Therefore, truth is not absolute and many of the qualities embraced by modernism no longer hold the value of influence they once did.  It can still be defined as we like, since it is still forming and developing.”[10]

So, although postmodernism may not have a strict definition[11] we can start to understand it as a the culture that is in the process of developing from and in a modern worldview, taking modernity’s values and questioning, re-evaluating, and redefining those values.

            What implications does this shift in cultural worldview have for the church; for ministry?  That is the question that is being answered in various ways by various people, and passionately at that.  Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, is one of those that are navigating the journey from modernity to post-modernity.  Back in the mid 1990’s Driscoll spoke on this very topic in a conference hosted by Leadership Network, a network of church leaders.[12]  Driscoll recounts the story of how “Out of that conference a small team was formed to continue conversing about postmodernism…”[13]  They came to the consensus that American culture is becoming increasingly secular and thus requires a different missiology.[14]  That group morphed into what is now known as Emergent Village (EV), also referred to Emergent.[15] 

EV is not to be confused with the emerging church, which Mark Driscoll defines as, “…a broad category that encompasses a wide variety of churches and Christians who are seeking to be effective missionaries wherever they live.”[16]  Much confusion has arisen from not understanding that the emerging church stands as the general umbrella, while EV is merely one group under that umbrella.  For quite a while, I was among the confused.  I kept hearing strong accusations being thrown around towards many who identified themselves as emerging.  A couple of years ago I was part of Karis Community Church in Columbia, MO[17].  Karis tried to both maintain their membership as a Southern Baptist Church, while also being a member of the growing Acts 29 Network, a network of church planters led by Mark Driscoll.[18]  This dual membership, led to conflict with the North American Mission Board in terms of paying interns, such as my former roommate.

This confusion is due to some seemingly radical views of EV, particularly from widely read author and speaker Brain McLaren.  So alarming were the accusations of Brian McLaren in particular that I realized I had better get familiar with his line of thinking, especially since he was an adjunct at MHGS.  I spent quite a long time diving into McLaren’s book, A New Kind of Christian, probably at the exclusion of other arguably more important research on the topic of the emerging church.   However, my initial research repeatedly kept coming back to this book, which was influential for many in understanding the world of the emerging church, including Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, MI.[20]  I wish to spend the rest of the paper reflecting my initial thoughts of A New Kind of Christian.  Due to the space restrictions, I will highlight two ideas that really made me cautious, as well as two ideas that really captured my heart and imagination. 

McLaren begins A New Kind of Christian with his own story.  He briefly tells of his own frustrations in ministry that led him to start a new journey toward being “…a Christian in a whole new way.”[21]  In this introduction to this new way of being a Christian, he asks,

“What if God is actually behind these disillusionments and disembeddings?  What if God is trying to move us out of Egypt, so to speak, and into the wilderness…What if it’s time for a new phase in the unfolding mission God intends for the people…who seek to know, love, and serve God…In other words, what if this experience of frustration that feels so bad and destructive is actually a good thing…in God’s unfolding adventure with us?”[22]

These are indeed inspiring questions, but I couldn’t help but feeling odd about them, almost like he way implying that God was indeed behind his work.  My question back to McLaren was, “Fine, but what if God isn’t behind all these disillusionments?”  I of course couldn’t directly ask him, so I read on and my discomfort increased with the next two paragraphs and he further implied that God was indeed behind his work in dreaming of a new kind of Christian by identifying himself as a type of Martin Luther trying to fight the systems of Christianity today as Luther did in his day.[23]  For McLaren to make these presumptions about himself is extremely alarming.

            Another concern I had with McLaren were his ideas on Hell, addressed specifically in three chapters.[24]  Though I didn’t disagree with everything McLaren wrote, I was puzzled and a bit shocked over the idea that there might not be a literal Hell, but that it may be merely the perception of Heaven by those that don’t know God.[25]  I feel this teaching is contrary with the teachings of Jesus, specifically in Matthew 18:6 – 9:

^“6But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. ⁷"Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! ⁸And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. ⁹And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.” (ESV)

In this passage, it seems pretty clear that Jesus is speaking of a physical fire of torment.  Although, I guess one could argue that since it is commonly held that Jesus is figuratively speaking of maiming oneself, that the same could be said of the eternal fire.  Still this really alarmed and frightened me.

            To be fair, I should add that McLaren does ask us to not “…assume that any of these characters can be fully identified with the ‘I’ who wrote this introduction.”[26]  “Jacques Derrida has said that the ‘most difficult question’ is telling the who apart from the what – separating the author or thinker from the author’s work or thought.”[27]  That is no exception in dealing with Brain McLaren’s thoughts. It frustrated me greatly not being able to fully know how McLaren exactly thought on the issues and questions his characters brought up.  He distances himself further in the second book of this three part series, when he writes,

“Please do not assume that their [Neo and friends] answers are always mine; you may however, safely assume that I think that all their questions and answers deserve consideration.  If you are dissatisfied with some of the answers you find here (as I am), there is a good chance you’re right.  So I hope that you’ll use your dissatisfaction constructively and attempt to articulate better answers yourself.  I’ll continue to try to do the same thing.  Let’s be respectful colleagues, not critical adversaries.”[28]         

It would be much easier for me and others to be more respectful rather than critical if we knew what thought from these stories were from McLaren and which ones weren’t. 

            Despite my frustrations and concerns, there was much I liked about A New Kind of Christian.  The style or genre for one was a refreshing blend of light fiction dealing with nonfictional thoughts.  Conversation pushed the story along.  It was very uniquely done.  The story is of two friends, Neo, a former pastor turned school teacher, and Dan, a current pastor that is having severe questions and frustrations in regard to ministry.  Dan’s questions are similar to questions that Neo faced years before leading to his leaving the pastorate.  It is through the expression and exploration of these questions that these two men strike up a friendship.  One day they are having deep dialogue while on a walk in the park, when Neo disappears into a patch of woods.  He has gone looking for a spiderweb to use as an analogy for foundation of our faith.[29]  Probably like most people, foundation for me has been in terms of a building.  Thinking outside the box here really stretched me.  McLaren’s character Neo says, “What if faith isn’t best compared to a building, but rather to spiderweb?  Instead of one foundation, it has several anchor points.  Those points might be spiritual experiences, exemplary people and institutions whom one has come to trust....”[30] 

I really liked that picture and sat with that a few days mulling it around in my head.  I even bounced it around with my roommate who is a carpenter, wanting to perspective of someone in the construction business.  What he said not only surprised me, but left me with a sense of the mystery of God.  He questioned whether faith had to be limited to foundation in any analogous definition.  Keeping with the building analogy thought, he wondered if faith could start in the bathroom of all places.  After all God does meet us where we are at, we don’t know the whole story before the salvation process starts.[31]

I also greatly appreciated the last chapter, where characters Neo and Casey B. dreamt of new kinds of church and seminaries.[32] Reading this chapter brought me back to Seattle and my reasons for visiting.  I was specifically reminded of an experience I had visiting Church of the Apostles (COTA) pastured by Karen Ward, another leading voice in the emerging conversation.[33]  In my wanderings around Seattle, Freemont quickly became one of my favorite neighborhoods.  Lively, art filled, energetic, and eclectic, Freemont was an intriguing neighborhood to get lost in.  One day I stumbled upon the Freemont Abby, the building and ministry of the emerging bunch COTA.  They were about to close for the day, but invited me back to their gathering that Saturday.  I took them up on their invite and was in for a night that I will never forget.  From the wonderful, heartfelt welcome I received, to the worship team joining us in worshiping God by leading us in song from behind us, to a personal time of reflection by the entire congregation through quiet, reflective, meditation stations that seemed more the focus of the gathering than the message, the evening had a deep mystery and wonder to it.  I left feeling like I connected with God for the first time in a long while. 

The night wasn’t over though as we made our way downstairs for my first church potluck with beer.  The occasion was a business meeting whether they were discussing moving their gathering from Saturday to Sunday.  They made a point to invite everyone to the meeting/potluck, though they did stress that visitors might feel a little uncomfortable due to the nature of the meeting.  Being the inquisitive one that I am, I jumped at the opportunity to observe fellow believers working together to make their particular group function better.  I was however a bit surprised that I wasn’t merely a silent observer, but was asked to participate in the guided small group discussions that we had around our respective tables.  When my research brought me to Karen Ward’s chapter in Listening to the Beliefs of Emerging Churches, I smiled.  Not only to the fond memories of her church, but also because her church practices what they preach.  Her chapter is a “potluck” of theology from members of her church.  She says she opened up the chapter to other voices and that they wrote it “in community as that is how we operate at COTA.”[34]  I can attest that two years after this was written, this lovely group of believers is still practicing communal theology.

In regard to new kinds of seminaries, McLaren’s character Neo writes in an email:

“We’d spend a lot of time studying contemporary culture…I’d send the students out to exegete movies and art galleries, concerts and sports events, shopping malls and bars, video game parlors and campgrounds, synagogues and mosques.  We’d come back from these adventures and talk about what we’ve seen, what’s going on, what it means to be a Christian in our world.” [35]

It was this studying, or exegesis that I was doing while in Seattle.  I spent a month “reading” Seattle.  If I were to share only one thing from my adventure it would be another piece of art that I stumbled upon my first day in the city.  It was a panting of Calvary, but instead of Jesus on the cross, there were multiple crosses with multiple Jesus’.  It caught be off guard and I found myself more than a little offended.  I was grieved at how myopic our culture was that someone could paint a picture that seemed to be equating Jesus with Burger King; “my god, my way”.  Appalled, I turned away and walked around the gallery, but couldn’t get the painting out of my head.  Before I left, I made my way toward this painting again and sensed God asking me if I was guilty of the same error that I was accusing the culture of.  Was I worshiping a Jesus I created, or that my culture created?  Was I worshiping a Jesus that made me feel good, and was convenient for me?  Or was I worshiping the God that truly IS?  I wept and continue to weep at the thought of resurrecting a Jesus that I am comfortable with.  I pray for the future of the church.  I pray for my future.  I pray that however the church, and specifically myself, navigate the treacherous waters of postmodernism, we would continue to worship the One, True, and Living God. 

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[1] Seanet Corp., “Unique Seattle Photo Galleries,” Seattle.net, http://www.seattle.net/seattlemedia/photography/ (accessed November 23, 2009).

[2] From pictures I took July, 31^st 2009

[3] Ibid.

[4] Heath White, Postmodernism 101: A First Course for the Curious Christian (Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2006), 11

[5]Andy Crouch, “Life After Postmodernity,” in The Church in Emerging Culture: Five Perspectives, ed. Leonard Sweet (El Cajon, CA: emergentYS Books, 2003), 70.

[6] Scot McKnight, “What is the Emerging Church?” Transcript of the presentation given at Westminster Theological Seminary, October 26-27, 2006.  Transcript may be found at http://www.vanguardchurch.com/mck_ec.pdf.  Accessed December 1, 2009.

[7] Ibid

[8] Dan Kimball, The Emerging Church: Vintage Christianity for New Generations (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2003), 48

[9] Ibid, 58

[10] Ibid

[11] Ibid, 49

[12] Mark Driscoll, “A Pastoral Perspective on the Emergent Church,” Criswell Theological Review 3, no. 2 (Spring 2006): 87.

[13] Ibid, 88

[14] Ibid

[15] Ibid, 89. Also the Emergent Village website tells of their birth, Emergent Village, “About Emergent Village,” Emergent Village, http://www.emergentvillage.com/about/ (accessed December 1, 2009).  Ed Stetzer also summarized Tony Jones’ (former national coordinator of EV) telling of the birth of EV in, Ed Stetzer, “The Emergent/Emerging Church a Missiological Perspective,” in Evangelicals Engaging Emergent: A Discussion of the Emergent Church Movement, ed. William D. Henard and Adam W. Greenway (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2009).

[16] Mark Driscoll, “A Pastoral Perspective on the Emergent Church,” Criswell Theological Review 3, no. 2 (Spring 2006): 89.

[17] Karis home page,” Karis Community Church, http://karischurch.org/index.aspx (accessed December 1, 2009).

[18] Scott Thomas, “Welcome to the Acts 29 Website!” Acts 29 Network, http://www.acts29network.org/about/welcome/ (accessed December 1, 2009).

[19] I feel the need to apologize.  I used info on my old roommate for this paper without his permission, so I am retracting my comments.  I am sorry.
[20] Andy Crouch, “The Emergent Mystique,” Christianity Today (November 2004): 38.

[21] Brian D. McLaren, A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey (San Francisco, CA: Josey-Bass, 2001), xiii-xxii.

[22] Ibid, xvi.

[23] Ibid.

[24] Ibid, 60 – 67, 81 – 93, 124 - 134

[25] Ibid, 90-91

[26] Ibid, xxii

[27] Leonard Sweet, “Introduction to the Contributors,” in The Church in Emerging Culture: Five Perspectives, ed. Leonard Sweet (El Cajon, CA: emergentYS Books, 2003), 51.

[28] Brian D. McLaren, The Story We Find Ourselves in: Further Adventures of a New Kind of Christian (San Francisco, CA: Josey-Bass, 2003), xviii.

[29] Brian D. McLaren, A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey (San Francisco, CA: Josey-Bass, 2001), 53 - 55

[30] Ibid, 54

[31] Conversation with Mark Richey, Sunday, November 8, 2009

[32] Brian D. McLaren, A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spritual Journey (San Fransisco, CA: Josey-Bass, 2001), 143 - 164

[33] “Apostleschurch.org,” Apostleschurch.org, http://www.apostleschurch.org/home.php (accessed December 2, 2009.

[34] Karen Ward, “The Emerging Church and Communal Theology,” in Listening to the Voices of Emerging Churches: Five Perspectives, ed. Robert Webber (Grand Rapids: MI: Zondervan, 2007), 161

[35] Brian McLaren, A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey (San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2001),162.