The heart of a man

I am reading "Wild at Heart" again for the first time. To be honest the last few times I have tried to pick it up I didn't get it. The heart of a man is wild, Eldridge says. Men long for danger, adventure, a beauty to rescue. It all sounded so....not me. Yet........

While in Seattle, I have been befriended one man in particular. He and I have gotten to know each other, talking about life, school, dreams, family, our hearts. He is a recent graduate of Mars Hill Graduate School where I have been thinking of pursuing my schooling. One thing he mentioned of Mars Hill kind of saddened me.

He said that after completing the program, he knows more about what it means to be a woman, than he does a man.

To explain a little, the school is a proponent of the line of thought that Christianity has wounded and discriminated against women for most of it's existence. One of it's focuses is to redeem women, freeing them to do all that God has called them to do. That being said, a lot of the practical teachings are targeted toward empowering women and fighting against reinforcing the idea of women being subordinate to men. Thus my friend knew better how to be a woman, but was lacking in how to grab ahold of his masculinity. Though he did admit that maybe part of being a man is protecting and honoring women.

I understand and applaud MHGS for their work in redeeming women, but personally need to learn how to be a man.

I remember one afternoon when I was a kid watching Oprah. Pathetic I know; a boy watching Oprah after school. The topic was gender roles. There was some sort of checklist to see how you identified with other men or women. I was more feminine than masculine according to Oprah. Now I know that shouldn't define me, but at the time I was deeply confused. Maybe the fact that I was watching Oprah should have clued me in on something.

I share that story to say that I don't have a clue what it means to be a man. I suspect a lot of young men are in this same position. We have a generation that hasn't had a dad present. Or those that are lucky enough to have a dad, most dads are so emotionally distant and confused about masculinity themselves that they don't know how to pass along anything to their boys.

Maybe that's why we have so many twenty somethings that are nothing more than overgrown adolescents.

I am sure there are more contributors to this phenomenon than merely lack of good role models, but that has to be a large factor. Men are bored. Men don't have self confidence to conquer the world. We have been tamed and now our culture suffers the consequences.

More and more young men are staying in college longer. Graduates are prolonging choosing their careers by going on to graduate school. Those are are in the work force come home from working to waste away hours at a time killing their friends in the latest video or computer game. My computer is being a pain at the moment, but I might try to look up stats for all this soon.

Where are the men? Where are the mentors, the dads, the grandads?

I went to a worship gathering yesterday. A young, hip, emerging type service aimed at reaching the younger generations. It was nice, classy, sleek. Good music, sharp production. Lots of young twenty somethings. No grey hairs. Where are the grey hairs? We have an epidemic in our culture and the church is adding to this problem by creating separate times of worship for younger audiences. That's great, but how then do we integrate the generations back into being a body together.

Paul, Peter, and other authors in Scripture address the issue of mentorship. Us young men need guidance. I need guidance. I have no idea where to go to understand how to be a man. So, I again pick up "Wild at Heart." I pray that this time, I may have the ears to hear and the eyes to see what Eldredge is writing. I pray that I would also keep my eyes open to men I would like to follow.