How do I love you, let me count the ways.....

What is love, true love? I have been mulling over this question ever since last summer when I had the privilege of listening to a man ramble. His name was Aaron, lead singer of a then unknown band to me, called Mewithoutyou. Aaron spoke of love. And how he was unsure that we ever get to the place where we truly love another person. Or whether what we call love is merely a sense of gratitude for what another gives us.

For example, one can say that they love their girlfriend. But is it love, or is it that being around said women brings a feeling of excitement, especially in the pants.

Or I can say I love talking to my friends. But is that love or is it that I have found someone who tolerates my rants and ramblings.

Children say they love their parents. Or is just that their parents are there to take care of them.

Reverse these examples or any you want to use. Are you left with a loss of love? When the cute little butterflies no longer appear when the one you "love" enters the room, does the love stop too? If my friends stop being so patient with me and tell me to shut up, will I quit loving them? When parents leave either physically or emotionally, does the love cease?

With some people yes. But with others no. What is the difference here? Do some actually find true love? Or do their selfish motives merely change to reflect the situation?

I was reminded of these question of love while reading Bonhoeffer's classic "Life Together" this morning. He makes the case for us purely in the physical not being able to possess true love. That love always has selfish motives behind it, and thus isn't love at all. He goes on to say, however, that love does exist, but only in the spiritual. It is only through Christ's life and sacrificial example on the cross that our eyes are opened we can see what love truly is. The Christian then lives in the tension of the humanity's poor attempt at love and trying to live out Christ's love to others.

Bonhoeffer also makes the point that though on a physical level humans can connect directly to each other, Christians cannot. Christians only have fellowship through and because of Christ. Christians can never have fellowship directly with another believer, for it is only because of Christ that we are brought into the Kingdom. Reading this and wrapping my mind around this blew me away. It brought another element to Christ being Lord of All. I cannot even have fellowship with a fellow brother or sister with first going through Christ.

This thinking also was transforming when he talks of Christians each being sinners, saved by the grace of God trying to fellowship with God in their own right. I am guilty of seeing other believers as better or worse than I. There are some that I greatly esteem and others that I look down upon. But this is worldly love taking over again. How can I treat a believer any different than I would Christ, for they are brought into the Kingdom the same way I was and am. In the same manner, how can I treat any one different than I would I? Christ does call us to love our neighbor as our self. However, there is a difference in the fellowship with a believer. Maybe that is why the scriptures say to love all, especially the believer.

So, how do I love you? It is only through Christ that I am able to comprehend love.