It also amazes me when God invites me to do the same. I have an opportunity for an internship/mission trip in Seattle for part of the summer. However, I have no resources to get there. Kind of reminds me of a few summers ago when I had this internship waiting for me in Iowa and no money for gas. From out of no where I get an email from a local pastor I have never met requesting landscaping help for a couple of weeks. The pay was the exact amount I needed for gas. God never ceases to amaze me.
My first week of summer was trying. No money, no job, no food. Worry and fear quickly closed in around me as I desperately wondered how I was going to live. Then I quieted myself and was reminded of a story from my favorite author, James Alexander Langteaux. James was being called out to New Zealand but had yet to prepare to go. When he questioned God on why things were not progressing God called him on that. It was like God was saying, "I called you to move to New Zealand, yet everything in your life is geared toward staying. Do you trust me?" When James began to live like he was moving and preparing for the move, God showed up and worked the details out in ways that only he can.
I took that word to heart. Prepare to go to Seattle. I am staring a mountain in the face and am shaking in fear. But I am hearing the word Go. Every time I talk with pastor Rich from Seattle I start to see the mountain for what it really is, an ant hill. Things look different when I look through the lens of faith. But when I look at my resources and trust in my own power to get myself to Seattle things look bleak.
I all but gave up. I started looking for work and even withing one week was able to schedule an interview. I began to feel better about staying in Lansing and working for the summer. Lord knows I need the cash. But then this word came, "prepare". Do I trust God to get me out to Seattle and take care of me? He put this whole thing together out of thin air. Is he going to give up on me now? Am I going to give up on him?
I have quit looking for work and am spending my time preparing to go to Seattle. God reminded me of a precedent years ago when I was moving. As a young Christian, I was scared of the idea of moving and not having a body of believers to call family. I prayed that I would only move if God brought me to a church first. In God's last minute fashion, he lead me to a church the weekend before I was to move at a conference I was attending. My seat was a few rows back from a church near where I was moving. In my excitement I jumped down and almost tackled a girl, but was forgiven when I explained how God was working. God brought this story to mind as he is wanting this to be a precedent for future moves in my life.
I am looking at going to graduate school in Seattle next year. This summer then for me, is a time of scouting the city and meeting people. It is a time of building relationships and finding a group of believers in which I can call family and create a home. That way when I move out there next year for school, the transition isn't so rough. I already am familiar with the city and the people.
I understand what God is saying, but I am still full of doubt. I joked with a friend who asked whether I was going out to Seattle, saying that I might not know whether I was going till I started driving. Kind of like Peter. Stepping out from the comfort of a boat onto raging waters, not knowing if the water will hold him. One foot in front of the other, standing in awe of how he is defying physics, and at the same time, not really caring. Just resting in the joys of the moment. For these few brief steps, Peter was standing on faith, literally. May I do the same, and stand and rejoice in my God.
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