paralyzing fear

Here I sit, longing for a day long forgotten. A day filled with peace, and hope. A day where laughter could be felt as easily as the breeze or the rain. There was much rain then. Rain that covered the city with purifying water, washing away the tears, and fears of just a short time before. This was a sweet rain, a rain which urged one to reignite the innocence so long forgotten. You could almost imagine splashing in mud puddles. That is where the laughter came from. From deep inside.

It could be heard as well, for it was real as well as imaginary. There was as much to laugh about as there was to cry over. Though the tears were of yesteryear when there was much hurting. So much hurting was there that it was almost unbearable. That is what made the laughter that much sweeter. And the rain that much cleaner.

Little did I know that those short days of laughter and rain would be the last time I would ever experience peace. The last days I would ever feel hope. Where did they go? Why did they disappear? No one knows. They just got ripped away along with every ounce of faith and passion one could possibly muster.

All that is left is an empty shell of a man. A man that looks young. But years don't matter when you have no future.